2-35: making wise choices

Here's the manual lesson, which I used as a framework.
Here is the lesson from you guys:

What are some decisions you made this morning?

• what to wear - not as trivial as it initially sounds

what group of people do I want to fit it with?
am I going to dress modestly?
what is my intent/what reaction am I going for?

• what to eat
• am I going to go to church
• will I listen to the lesson/talk/participate in class
• will I be kind - or not - to siblings
• will I be helpful

What are choices you make during the week?

• will I do my homework
• should I study for that test
• will I practice my instrument/sport
• who will I be friends with
• who will I talk to
• what kind of person do I want to date - eventually. :)
• what kind of person do I want to be

What decisions determine who you are?

• will I get angry with my brother
• am I a 'Sunday' Mormon
• what language do I use
• am I going to pray
• do I choose to read my scriptures
• do I gossip - being silent when others are gossiping is often viewed as agreeing with them
• do I drink/do I live the Word of Wisdom
• do I smoke

We are free to choose our actions. The consequences are not up for debate.

Can you pick up just one side of a stick? (or in our case an eraser?)

Some decisions have obvious physical consequences. If you choose to smoke, then you are also choosing to damage your body.

There isn't an obvious physical consequence to choosing not to pray. You won't get sick if you don't read your scriptures. Many of our choices change our relationship to the Spirit. Bad choices lead to a loss of the Spirit. One bad decision doesn't blast us for forever, but it makes it that much easier to make more bad choices, because we have removed ourselves from the influence of the Spirit.

What helps you make good choices? What physical things do you do that help you have the Spirit?

What do you do if your friends say, 'Do this or we're not going to hang out with you anymore.'

What keeps you strong?

Write in your journal about specific things that help you make good choices.

2-16: journals

Go have a read.

First, we talked about different ways that the Spirit talks to people. He speaks to each of us in different ways, and not always loudly, so it's important to figure out how he talks to us individually and recognize how it makes us feel.

These are just a few examples from the scriptures of how the Holy Ghost operates.

D&C 8:2 - Holy Ghost will tell you in your mind and in your heart

D&C 9: 8-9 - study and ask. right = burning feeling; wrong = stupor or confusion of thought

Moroni 8:26 - if we're humble then the Holy Ghost can 'fill us with hope and perfect love'

Galatians 5:22-23 - a list of feelings the Holy Ghost can bring us; the 'fruits of the Spirit'

John 14: 16-17 - Holy Ghost = Comforter = Spirit of Truth

The Holy Ghost talks to each of us differently. Some people cry. That's an obvious outward sign. But just because you DON'T react that way to the Spirit doesn't mean you're not feeling it. You have to figure out how it works for you.

JOURNALS

There are lots of things that we could write about. And there are lots of things that happen to use that are so important and make such an impact, we think we will never forget them. Our memories are faulty.

Think about recording times when you have felt the Spirit. What were the circumstances? How did you feel? Who was there? What were you doing? Did the Spirit prompt you to do anything? To change anything?

Everyone wrote for a few minutes about a time when they felt the Spirit.

Use that to figure out what you need to do to feel the Spirit again. Record times when you felt the Spirit. Read them again to bring back those strong feelings.

2-18: a heritage of righteous traditions.

Here's the lesson from the manual.

Our discussion focused on things we do within our own families.

What are fun things that you do with your families - things that bring you together as a family?

• Sunday dinner
• vacations
• Saturday movie night
• late night pizza fest
• read scriptures
• watch 'Wipe Out' together
• back to school fiesta/blessings
• cleaning the house to music

Traditions - in particular righteous traditions - are things you do repeatedly that bring you closer together as a family and closer to God.

Did you guys hear what President Cowley said at the end of sacrament meeting? He had an interview with someone before church, and was headed out to his car when he felt impressed to come to our sacrament meeting. After sitting through the meeting, he knew why. He mentioned specifically getting to participate in the blessing of the Wisniewski's baby, and hearing the Dickeys talk.

What were you supposed to hear at church today? Maybe you were here today to help someone else. Do you know why were you here today?

How can you make attending church a 'righteous tradition' and not just a habit or something you do because you're supposed to?

Our ultimate goal is to return to live with Heavenly Father, with our families. We come to church to help us reach this goal. Ironically, Sunday mornings are just about the most stressful, grouchy times for our families - in large part because we're trying to get to church to learn about how to love our families!

• IGNORE - genius! if we can ignore the things that are crazy and not care about the stuff that doesn't really matter, the morning goes that much smoother, and our attitude starts out good at church, allowing us to feel the Spirit and learn.
• 'use the other door' - for one girl, simply using the other door to get into the car would prevent an explosion with her family. In reflecting about this, I thought it was a great way of saying 'CHOOSE to be helpful.' Actively think of ways to be helpful and make things go smoother.

Why is it harder to read the scriptures than our favorite book?

What can we do to make it easier? Sometimes the language of the scriptures is difficult to understand, and we already think we know 'what's going to happen.' In reality, the scriptures have something new for us each time we read, depending on what we're going through at the time.

• try reading with a specific purpose - maybe color code specific words or topics you're thinking about while you read.
• actually STUDY them instead of just letting the words go through your eyes.
• choose to make reading your scriptures a priority.

What traditions do you want to have in your own family - for yourself? Start now. You don't have to wait.

2-37: maintaining chastity through righteous living

Here's the lesson from the manual. We didn't go over any of the stories, but focused our discussion on how different commandments and/or principles are related to and strengthen each other.

Proverbs 6:28: Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?

You can't choose the consequences of your actions. You can choose your actions, but the consequences come along too. You can't pick up just one side of a stick.

We talked more specifically about what it means to be chaste.

Is petting OK? Petting: touching the private parts of someone else's body, either above or below their clothing, or allowing someone to touch you. If it's covered by your underwear, it's off limits. It's not OK.

What about 'sexting?' Not OK. Not pictures - never mind the fact that they can be passed along to who knows how many other people, even if only one person where to see them, it's not OK. Think again about your intent: if the behaviour is arousing sexually, you need to change it. The same thing goes for words.

Is it OK if it's just something that someone else forwarded? That someone else is showing you from their phone? NO. Still wrong. Please don't be a part of gossiping about someone else who might have made a dumb decision.

How about hugging? You can tell when it's just a hug, and when it crosses the line to something more. Don't EVER be afraid to tell someone you're uncomfortable with them touching you, even if it's 'just a hug.' If it creeps you out, ask them to stop. Don't worry about embarrassing them. You can still be nice about it, but it's OK to not be nice if that's what it takes to get them to stop.

How do the following principles help in living the law of chastity, or strengthen each other?

Word of Wisdom
Obedience - to God and to parents
Modesty - words, dress, actions
Service
Prayer
Fasting
Love of God, yourself, and other
studying the scriptures

(I tried to remember all the things you guys said. If I missed some, please let me know and I'll fix it!)

• service - increases love for yourself and others
• prayer and fasting go together - fasting without prayer just means you're hungry
• obedience - it's not always easy to obey your parents, but you know that they love you, so that helps you try to obey them
• prayer and scriptures - the scriptures mean a lot more when you pray first before reading
• Word of Wisdom - when you're not in control of yourself, you're more likely to make choices you wouldn't normally make
• modesty - when you value yourself and who you are, you don't have to dress like everyone else, and you don't have to put it all out there
• scriptures - reading the scriptures is a good way to feel better and find comfort

You guys had some really great insights. I left thinking about some things in a different way, and I was totally impressed with how thoughtful you all are!

2-34: living the lord's standards

Ahh, the battle with time. Here's the link for the lesson from the manual.

At the beginning of class, everyone got a copy of this to check out and think about:

• Do I know from the scriptures what the Lord’s standard of chastity is?
• Do I know what the prophets have said about how to deal with evil influences?
• Do I read and ponder my patriarchal blessing?
• Do I pray for strength and protection?
• Have I sought and listened to the counsel of my parents? Of my bishop or branch president?
• Do I listen for and act on the impressions that the Holy Ghost gives me?
• Have I made a commitment to cling to the Lord’s standard BEFORE I am faced with temptation?

1. Maria is active in the Church and has a strong testimony. A school activity brought her in contact with Carl, who is not an active member, nor are his standards of behavior as high as Maria’s. Carl enjoys her company and showers attention on her. What could Maria do to hold fast to what she has been taught? To what trees could she cling to keep her from following Carl into inactivity?

2. Lorraine is aware that she should not date before age sixteen, but a popular boy at school has invited her to a party. He told her, “Everyone is going to be there; will you go with me?” What should she reply? What trees should she hold to?

3. Georgia’s teacher at school has often told her that she has a fine scientific mind and that to be married and have a family would be wasting her abilities. How does this advice conflict with the Lord’s standard? How can Georgia use her abilities in fulfilling her divine role? Which trees should she cling to in deciding about her future?

4. A schoolmate of Ruth’s has urged her to come to a party, saying that Jack will be bringing something to really make her feel good. It will be exciting to try it just once. How could the commitment Ruth has already made about drugs and other Word of Wisdom temptations help her to respond to this invitation?

5. Barbara’s boyfriend tells her, “Of course I love you. But we ought to find out if we are sexually compatible before we’re married.” What is the Lord’s standard on premarital sex? What would you do if you were Barbara? To which trees can Barbara cling?

6. Susan found herself with a group of friends who wanted to see an objectionable movie. Susan felt it would be wrong to go to the movie. What could she suggest or say? What would you do in a similar situation?

7. Rachel went shopping with a friend who kept urging her to purchase clothes that were either too tight or too short. The styles were very attractive, and she needed something new for a special occasion. What should Rachel do? What is the Lord’s standard on modesty and dress?

8. Patricia listened to the missionaries and was baptized. She was the only member of her family to join the Church. Although at times keeping the commandments was difficult, she remained faithful and increased her resolve to live the Lord’s standards of righteousness. To what trees can Patricia cling to live the gospel when other family members make it difficult for her?


We read the story from President Kimball about a tidal wave in Hawaii. Two parents received a call and were able to run to higher ground with one of their children. Their two other children were playing near some trees. They grabbed onto the trees and held their breath while the first wave washed over them. After the water receded, they ran up the hill to be with their parents.

'President Kimball continued: “We, too, are faced with powerful, destructive forces unleashed by the adversary. Waves of sin, wickedness, immorality, degradation, tyranny, deceitfulness, conspiracy, and dishonesty threaten all of us. They come with great power and speed and will destroy us if we are not watchful” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1978, pp. 5–6; or Ensign, Nov. 1978, pp. 5–6).'

We talked about what these words mean, and what things you girls are faced with in your lives.

immorality: tv, language (not just curse words, but the way we USE words can make them immoral), drugs, movies
degradation: to break down; many standards of behaviour are being degraded in today's society, by people saying 'oh, that's not so bad, don't be such a wimp, etc.'
tyranny: in your sphere, someone who is a 'queen bee' - someone who bosses everyone else around and tells them how they should act, what's cool and what's not, etc.
deceitfulness: lying
dishonesty: lying often goes along with immorality, because you might feel like you need to cover up what you're doing from your parents or leaders.

What 'TREES' do you have to protect you from these things?

• prayer - some of you have had personal experiences where prayer was a real strength and help for you in dealing with problems.
• the 'For the Strength of Youth' pamphlet - on bad days with friends, this pamphlet has provided actual strength - as the authors intended! - by providing hope and help in knowing that God is aware of you and that His plan is better than what your friends are suggesting.
• friends - I actually asked about negative peer pressure, and Sis. McKrola talked about some of Kasey's friends that are really good about standing up for her and explaining to everyone else that 'she doesn't do that stuff.' If your friends know your standards ahead of time, they can be a big help.

Our discussion focused mainly on these two questions:

Have I made a commitment to cling to the Lord’s standard before I am faced with temptation?

Do I know from the scriptures what the Lord’s standard of chastity is?

Does it seem like we talk about chastity a lot? We do. It's for a reason. When you turn 16, you don't just receive a driver's license and the keys to a car and immediately start driving. You take Driver's Ed. Although you might not be faced with these situations right now, you likely will be at some point.

We try to be straightforward with you, even if some things might be embarrassing to talk about for you. I would hate for you to get in a situation where you make a mistake, because the 'law of chastity' and the standards the Lord expects of all of use weren't explained simply and clearly to you.

The time to decide what you are going to do is NOT when someone is handing you a cigarette. You need to decide BEFORE you're in the situation what you're going to do.

You all know that sex outside of marriage is breaking the law of chastity. Let's go from the other end. Is kissing OK? Sure - well, when you're older! It gets down to intent. Think back to President Richard's lesson about 'what does it mean to be chaste' from camp. If the activity - whatever it is - makes you sexually aroused, then you have a problem, and you need to change the situation. Kissing CAN be OK, but it CAN be a problem. It depends. These feelings were created by God. They are good and strong and important in strengthening a marriage. Once you're physically/biologically ready to have a child, the feelings come along too. They aren't bad at all, but the circumstances have to be right - when you're married. Until then, you need to figure out how to discipline yourself and control those feelings.

PLEASE go over and answer the questions at the beginning for yourself. You can't do something if you don't know what it is you're supposed to be doing.

I know that being obedient to the Lord's standards actually provides MORE freedom in your life. And I know that you guys are all great!

2-33: the sacred power of procreation

Here is a link to the lesson from the manual. We didn't have time to go over very much of it, so read the talk from Elder Packer. That's where all the quotes I used are from. This talk is GREAT on the WHY - my favorite question, right? :)

This is what we discussed, included with somethings that I wanted to go over but that we didn't have time for.

We started with a 'blind poll' - by raise of hands, while everyone had their eyes closed - with two questions, to get a baseline of where everyone is.

1. Have your parents talked to you about how life is created - 'the birds and the bees?'
2. Is sex discussed openly in your home?

Procreation: to create life
(From the dictionary: To beget and conceive offspring; reproduce. PRO from latin means forward - think progress.)

What is the difference in meaning between 'procreation' and 'sex?'

• The word 'sex' sounds more worldly - music videos, fashion, Lady Gaga, jokes, movies
• 'Procreation' has more connotations of being joint partners with God in creating life

The Great Plan of Happiness in a nutshell is this:

• We existed (as spirits) before we came here to Earth.
• While on earth, we're going to be tested.
• After this life, we're headed to other places, depending on the choices we made.
• Our goal is to return to live with Heavenly Father.

Gaining a body is a critical part of God's plan for each of us. As women, we have the opportunity to help create that body - have children - with our husband and God. It is a sacred, important power created by God.

Once you get your period, you are physically able to have a child. You are NOT spiritually or emotionally ready yet. But once you are physically able to bear a child, the feelings that go along with that start cooking. This is why you think that boys are HOT. And that's a good thing - that's what God intended. But we have to learn to control this power.

Repentance is always an option. There is nothing you can do that will make God love you less. You can always fix things. But we'd really like to help you make good choices on the front end, before you go that route.

From Elder Packer:

'It was necessary that this power of creation have at least two dimensions. One, it must be strong, and two, it must be more or less constant.

'This power must be strong. Except for the compelling persuasion of these feelings, men would be reluctant to accept the responsibility of sustaining a home and a family. This power must be constant too, for it becomes a binding tie in family life.

In the animal world, families are rare. Most animals don't stick with one mate. The world will try and argue that humans are the same way - that it's silly to just be with one person. This idea is wrong.

Marriage was created by God.

The purpose of marriage is to create families for now and eternity.

• As soon as you are married, you go from being two single individuals to becoming a family. Even before you have children.
• Intercourse is a powerful bond in a marriage. It helps keep your parents together as a team. When your parents are all 'lovey dovey,' that actually strengthens your whole family and glues you all tighter together.

So, what's the big deal with chastity? Why do we talk about it all the time?

From President Richards up at girls' camp (paraphrased): Being chaste means keeping ourselves - our bodies, our thoughts - clean. If you are in any situation which causes you to become sexually aroused, you need to change that situation.

Who has a friend that has to have a boyfriend? Almost everyone raised their hand.

How many of these friends feel like they have to kiss their boyfriend in order to keep him as their boyfriend? Almost everyone raised their hand.

Girls (and I should have said boys too) sometimes confuse 'liking someone' with having to show it physically. Any boy that says 'if you really like me/love me, you'll do this . . .' is NOT the boy for you.

God created this power - the power to create and bind husbands and wives together. It's an essential part of his plan. Satan tweaks this power, and tries to make it seem like it's really not that big of a deal through a variety of ways - music, movies, TV shows.

It is a big deal. It is totally worth waiting for that ONE person who is ready and willing and worthy to marry you in the temple.

Talk to your parents. You need to understand how your bodies work physically, and what exactly the law of chastity means. If this is too uncomfortable or difficult to talk about with your parents - my mom was NOT one who could talk about this stuff - talk to a leader or some other trustworthy adult.

For good and/or bad, sexual things are talked about a lot more openly now. You need to make sure that you have the right information, and that you don't get yourself into a bad situation because you don't know or aren't sure if something is OK.

I found this thoughts on obedience that I thought went along perfectly with this discussion, but we ran out of time.

Again from Elder Packer: 'Obedience—that which God will never take by force—he will accept when freely given. And he will then return to you freedom that you can hardly dream of—the freedom to feel and to know, the freedom to do, and the freedom to be, at least a thousandfold more than we offer him. Strangely enough, the key to freedom is obedience.'

1. Obedience is an act of faith
2. Obedience is our gift back to Heavenly Father
3. Increased testimony is His continued gift back to us
4. The feelings accompanying this increase then contribute to our faith and our ability to obey.
   

Here are the questions for the week to think about:

• What blessings can I have from staying morally pure?
  
• What are the small decisions I can make that will guard me against the temptation of immorality?

2-25: the law of sacrifice

Here's the lesson from the manual.

We discussed blood sacrifices:

• animal sacrifices were performed at the temple in similitude of the coming sacrifice of the Savior
• these sacrifices ended with the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ
• the sacrament reminds us of Christ's sacrifice

Being members of the church in our time requires different kinds of sacrifice. It's not always easy being different.

• clothing
• language
• entertainment
• time - time to come to church and YW activities

We read D&C 97:8: Verily I say unto you, all among them who know their hearts are ahonest, and are broken, and their spirits contrite, and are bwilling to observe their covenants by csacrifice—yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command—they are daccepted of me.

This is one of my favorite comments: Having an honest heart does not mean that you don't make mistakes - you still do - but that you recognize them and fix them. (paraphrasing Brianna)

contrite = meek, humble, teachable

What do you sacrifice to be a member of the Church? Is it difficult? What do you do to be teachable?